Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), believed that many of our fundamental beliefs were irrational and self-defeating, leading to a greater likelihood of depression, stress, and low self-esteem.
He developed a set of thirteen unhelpful beliefs which he saw as the core of people’s mental health issues. This article will provide an overview of these thirteen beliefs, as well as examine how they can be used for personal development purposes.
The 13 Unhelpful Beliefs
The first of these thirteen beliefs is “life is difficult.” Ellis believed that this attitude was self-defeating and would lead to avoiding life’s challenges, learning little from them, and missing out on life’s joys.
To combat this attitude and foster personal development, Ellis advocated focusing on the rewards which can be gained from overcoming these difficulties and embracing the good things in life.
The second belief is “I must be perfect.” This belief leads to unrealistic expectations and can often be punishing towards oneself if those expectations are not met.
To help combat this belief, Ellis advised reminding oneself that everyone makes mistakes and that allowing this can help in personal development.
The third belief is “I must be approved by others.” Ellis argued that this was a futile pursuit, as it was impossible to please everyone all of the time, and could lead to feelings of low self-worth and dependency.
To help battle this belief, Ellis suggested the need to respect and accept oneself, without the need for approval from others.
The fourth belief is “If something is bad, it’s horrible.” This leads an individual to believe that any bad situation will be life-threatening.
To fight this thought, Ellis encouraged individuals to interpret bad situations as unpleasant but not devastating and to identify the benefits which can be gained from overcoming them.
The fifth belief is “I can’t handle it.” Ellis believed that this was an overly-pessimistic outlook, which could lead to an individual assuming that they are unable to cope with life’s challenges.
To counteract this belief, Ellis suggested focusing on the successes which the individual had already had in dealing with similar situations.
The sixth belief is “I must be super.” This can cause feelings of inferiority due to failures or not living up to one’s expectations.
To reframe this thought for personal development, Ellis advised that individuals focus on their works-in-progress rather than on their current failings.
The seventh belief is “All bad things are permanent.” This can lead to a deep depression and paralyzing worry that the bad thing will never end.
To balance this thought, Ellis suggested reframing it to reflect the reality that bad things do pass and focus on more positive things.
The eighth belief is “I can’t stand it.” This leads to an attitude of helplessness in the face of difficulty and can lead to feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness.
Ellis recommended that individuals reframe this thought to reflect the reality that, whilst difficult situations can be very hard, they also provide opportunities to learn and grow.
The ninth belief is “It’s all or nothing.” This can lead to an attitude of black-and-white thinking and absolutism which can be stifling.
Ellis suggested that individuals recognize that life is not just two distinct states and that they should focus on the grey area between the two which can provide room for growth and development.
The tenth belief is “I must always be right.” Ellis saw this as leading to a lack of self-awareness, as the individual will constantly act defensively and not be open to learning new information.
To offset this belief, Ellis recommended that individuals be willing to accept that others can be right and focus on the learning opportunities which this presents.
The eleventh belief is “He or she must understand me.” This can lead to an unrealistic expectations of others and is seen as particularly damaging in relationships.
To combat this belief, Ellis proposed that individuals focus on understanding and empathizing with others and accept that misunderstandings are a natural part of relationships.
The twelfth belief is “There’s something wrong with me.” This can lead to feelings of shame and an inability to reform and develop.
To reframe this thought, Ellis pointed out that individuals focus on the value which they currently have and celebrate their efforts in attempting to develop themselves and learn new skills.
The thirteenth belief is “Everything must go my way.” This overly-optimistic outlook can lead to difficulty in dealing with disappointments, as well as unrealistic expectations.
To negate this belief, Ellis indicated that individuals focus on realistic possibilities and be more accepting of what life brings them.
Conclusion
Albert Ellis’ thirteen unhelpful beliefs can be used as a tool to help identify and challenge limiting beliefs which prevent an individual from developing and experiencing life’s joys to the fullest.
His beliefs offer the potential to help individuals create a stronger and more productive relationship with their thoughts to move forward in life and develop their potential.
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